I have had a very trying summer with my son, yes, my oldest, my autistic son. Again, he is not “visibly” disabled, making life that much harder for us as people simply do not understand him, not even a little. The even more sad thing is that most don’t even try!

A comment was made to me after he had a major meltdown one day and ended up having to stay back from a field trip... a person that works with him on a nearly daily basis said to me “Well, if he were any other kid...” You know what, you are right, if he were “any other kid” he would go to sleep each night peacefully... he would sleep through the night with no night terrors... he would sleep in his own bed rather than on my floor.... he would wake up every morning with a smile to greet the day.... he would look at the positive in situations and appreciate it... he would love himself for who he is... if he were any other kid.

If he were “any other kid” the mere thought of a shopping mall would not make his skin crawl... he would be able to participate in sports without having to dictate... his mind would process that competition is good.... he could lose once or twice without beating his head into the wall.... if he were any other kid.

If he were “any other kid” he would understand the smiles on peoples faces or the tears in their eyes... he would realize that tears don’t mean disappointment... he would realize that being in “trouble” is a passing phase and not a life sentence... he would be able to express happy, sad, mad, excited, anxious... and he would appropriately display those emotions.... if he were any other kid.

If he were “any other kid” he would be able to sit and discuss “problems” without condemning himself... he would realize when mom is sick that this too shall pass.... he would go on every field trip with no cautions or worries... he would ride the “big” bus to school and process the noise and commotion without mentally shutting down... if he were any other kid.

If he were “any other kid” he would be able to go grocery shopping, shoe shopping, toy shopping or any other kind of shopping without hiding from the lights, the people, the noise, the choices.... he would love, like, dislike... NOT Love or HATE.... his emotions would have gray areas, not be black or white... if he were any other kid.

My son is simply not any other kid and what people must realize is that he punishes himself on a daily basis. Don’t people think he would like to be “normal” and that he would like to be able to process life so he can enjoy it to the fullest. Come on.... so, the next time that someone says to me “Well, if he were any other kid” I may quite simply say: “He is NOT and will NEVER be like "any other kid" so learn to deal with it!”

Autism is a scary disorder as there are so many levels but if someone tells you that their child is autistic, appreciate it for what it is, as no parent wants this for their child.... no parent labels a child autistic because they want to or have a need to. Trust me when I tell you that all we want as parents for our autistic children.... truly.... is for them TO BE “just any other kid!”

Shawna Butenhoff is a single mom of an 8 year old son with Asperger Syndrome